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June 13 2015

50 hours ago I was told that you were dead.
I am devestated I loved you I feel guilty for not having talked to you when I still had the chance. I cry a lot. And now my mind is playing the most nasty tricks on me. I see your face everywhere. I desperatly search for some plausible working theory that you might still be alive. It's completly retarted I know where this is coming from yet I can't perish the though that every moment now somebody will tell me that all this was just a bad joke. Yet I know nobody willl. You are gone and nothing will bring you back and it makes me drown in sadness. If there was a single thing I could wish for it would be that I either wake up or that my paranoid delusions come true simply that you are still alive. It feels so very pointless right now nothing has meaning and won't have any for a very long time. You left this hell we call reality and I remain. And the only thought that keeps me standing is an empty phrase a mantra "This too shall pass". The more rational part of me hopes that one day all that remains of you is sweet memory; that one day happyness will be mine once again even though the world is changed forever now that you left it :/
Tags: grief
Reposted byRekrut-K Rekrut-K

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